The only thing that could have possibly made this weekend any worse is if a three-ton rhinocerous was dropped out of a cargo plane, made a failed attempt to open an emergency chute, dropped through the roof of my house and crushed the already-broken toenail of my left pinky toe.
Guess who has the ability to fall in love with three people, have two dates lined up, and have his heart broken three times in the same weekend?
No, Andy Kaufmann is still legally dead. But I am still alive and kicking. Kicking like a ferocious mule with blue balls.
I don't quite understand why fate has conspired to make sure that women deal me a bad hand lately, but I'm still trying to figure out HOW and IF I can beat the house at its own game. Like TT (her nickname, as the "innocent" will be protected), who stood me up two weeks in a row and refused to return inquiries. Problem is, I still have no idea if she has a boyfriend or not.
Or MH, who, after three months of careful eyeing at karaoke nights, was finally courageous enough to venture a chance introduction at a chance karaoke meeting elsewhere! What a delight to find out that not only is she amazingly cute AND has a vibrant, magnetic personality, but she is SMART and shy in only the most INTRIGUING of ways!
After setting one movie date, she calls one hour before and confesses to having a boyfriend.
Honestly, what the fuck. I don't see why a person will let this can happen. Especially when they pre-cursor the confession with "I was drunk, and you are a really attractive guy, and I can't believe I was flirting with you so much but I couldn't help myself..." Thanks. Now not only do I have reason to be incredibly hurt, I have reason to suspect that even if we managed to follow through on an incredible connection, I have solid grounds for suspicion of your motives whenever you'd be meeting new people.
As for the third...let's just say that when you meet an incredibly hot, unique bartender, hit it off and have a great conversation, get her to volunteer her working days to you and end with big smiles and a "see you this weekend", it doesn't neccessarily mean that she will be in the same mood for conversation when you return at the aforementioned set date.
Live and learn.
I hate America.
